Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Operation Mrs. Right


warning: this idea has vast potential to give you cause for rolling your eyes. or is it really that bad?

don't ask me what it is about small Christian schools that make them so highly prone to frequent decisions to marry. no joke. all of your friends in no time. it's funny how the statistics used to really frustrate me and now i'm one of them. this also is proof of the inevitable priority shift that elapses in a young lady's four years away. now that i have committed to this grand journey, i'm finding that i have less and less in common with my peers. by no fault of theirs, it's largelydue to the fact that they're not planning my wedding, a joyful endeavor that reigns over my thoughts. because of this awareness, i've been surrounded my a conviction to assemble others in my situation. sounding cheesy yet?

no, it's not a cult.

confession: my intentions are based in a need for community that is selfish. however, i assume i'm not the only one that wishes for something such as this. ideally, this comraderie would identify itself as a bridal community for the development of wholeness in each of us. i feel that since we have chronic wedding-on-the-brain syndrome, the most fitting reparation is to promote furthering our minds, our hearts, etc. specifically, i'd like to see us adress family, finances, futures and faith. this could take the shape of finding a girlfriend to hit the gym with, getting advice about dealing with your new in-laws, having someone to go to when you need prayer, relationship help, sharing wedding talk with people who won't get sick of it, or having plain discussion time, etc. we could even bring in friends who have recently married and get a heads-up in real life from their angle. lastly, i'd really like to see us tackle some service projects. a woman of compassion and confidence can not be replaced!

essentially, we are a support group that wants to see a woman go into marriage as a whole person. further, i would deem the group a success if we convinced one bride-to-be that a wedding is more than custom napkins and M&M's. oh, and did i mention that this could be so much fun?! we're sharing resources and making new friends that share a simlar goal.

as you can see from the title, i think it's more-than-fitting to dub this force Operation Mrs. Right. please allow me to clarify: i have no time for promoting the housewife that lives and breathes only to be the woman her husband needs. that's not the business here. but hey, if we could be functional, efficient, wise babes, then why the heck not?!

at present, i've compiled a list of 25 girls on campus that are eligible. shall i spend my 3-week vacation from work and school creating invites and a more structured plan for what this is to be? if you were in this situation, would you be interested in joining us? or am i crazy?

4 comments:

realolivegreen said...

you're not crazy; it's a great idea. the trick is finding the time in all the craziness leading up to the big day. i think it could be really fun and really helpful. as someone who went into marriage with little advice or preparation of what was to come after the vows and cake, i think your idea would help you and others not go into marriage with any false ideas or the "man, i wish someone had told me about this." i say go for it.

Julie said...

i think that would be great for you all to have that support. we all need people who understand our life circumstances because they share them. i think that you have more in common with those already married and not even thinking about marriage than you think too. There are so many parts to us that we need all sorts of people in order to grow into the well-rounded and balanced women we want to be. talk to other engaged girls on campus or recently married women to ask what they think about it and if they feel like they need that sort of community as well. i am for community of any sort.

Ali Blair Dawson said...

so.. i know we don't know one another, but do you, by chance go to johnson bible college?

i have some friends there, and after reading your last post and noticing that you're located in nashville, thought it was likely.

Jill said...

ashley--

ya'll could go through RADIANT BRIDE by emily mills. someone gave it to me...i haven't read all of it, but a lot and it's really good. completely recommend it. it really goes along with what you are writing about...being whole. it's not a long read either.

i know that we haven't talked in a long time...and i may not know you that well...but I think it's awesome that you desire to see this in your marriage. however, i do want to offer a couple of pushbacks...

don't put too much on your plate before your wedding. the wedding in itself is a huge undertaking and i fear that you could get to your wedding day completely worn out. while i don't think that getting together with other engaged girls is a bad thing that will wear you out...it has lots of potential to.

the other thing is that i would like to encourage you with is to use this time to get to know your man even more. some of the inlaw issues and financial issues are things that need to be discussed primarily with brandon and not others. being engaged is a time when you flesh some of those could-be issues out so that when they happen you are both on the same page and it is a time of joy instead of stress. i don't think it is bad to share some of your fears or worries with other girls. i hope that is not what it sounds like. i do think that the guy you are going to spend the rest of your life with is top priority with these issues and this is a time when you get to open up with him and get to know him so much more intimately (not physically, but emotionally and spiritually) than ever before. spend time focusing on growing a beautiful relationship into even more than it already is. these are all words i'm sure that you have heard...sorry if they are repeats.

you are such a beautiful girl and i have always held a special place for you in my heart. even if knowing you right now involves lots of facebook stalking...i'm so very happy for you. if you want to continue this conversation or have any wedding/marriage questions...i'd love to help. press on.

love
jill "lockhart" davis